It Must Be a Plot

Do you ever feel like your little portion of the world is working against you? I certainly do. Last night is a perfect example.

Please note: Coffee figures somewhat largely in this story, my love for coffee is unfettered. I still love it and I'm drinking it right now.

Sometime last evening: Decide I am cold and tired but cannot go to bed yet since it's about 6:30, decide it's worth the risk of not sleeping and make coffee. Drink the glorious elixir of life and wonder at the joy of it all. Fortified by stories from other family members of being able to drink coffee and still go right to sleep, I drink with unabashed joy.
10:30 pm: All the other creatures in the house are asleep, including adorable cat (Kiki) who is asleep in my lap. Hubby is snoring on the couch. I'm not at all tired and I'm a little pissy since I still need to wash the dinner dishes. I do not enjoy the dishes so I'm trying this thing where I do them every night rather than waiting until the next day because my attitude regarding dishes gets much worse. It's not unusual for me to be wide awake at this point though. I'm a stay-up late kinda person.
Midnight: I am now in my bed reading on my kindle, still not tired despite all the creatures being asleep again. Many of them on the very bed. I'm still not really worried about my non-tiredness but I'm starting to tell myself that it's okay to shut off the kindle and go to sleep.
2:30 am: Yes, I'm still awake. I decide that even though I don't think I'm tired enough to sleep, I need to try and I shut off the kindle. As I lie there I think about how, it'll be fine. I can still get up for church at 6:00 and then take a nap later in the afternoon. No big deal, I have done it before. I have existed on much less sleep before.
2:31 am: Adorable cat walks delicately up my side (I generally sleep on my side) and looks down into my face from my shoulder. I talk to her. Saying things like; "Hi Kiki, it's okay I'm here, just going to sleep."
2:32 am: I am slowly settling in to sleep. Kiki jumps on the dresser. She is not allowed on my dresser. She knows this, she has never been allowed on my dresser. It's somewhat messy right now and all she does is knock things down. She also climbs up onto this little shelf thing and stares at me while I sleep, I do not like this. She does not need to be up there. I sit up and chase her down.
2:33 am and every couples of minutes or so for the next several hours: She climbs on the dresser, I chase her down. She does this each time I slowly drift off to sleep. I then have to wake up, chase her down and lie back down, settle down and try to go to sleep.
Sometime during those few precious hours I was going to sleep: I get up and go into the living room, picking up the water spritzer which was used earlier to keep her off the top of the bookshelves. She scampers around my feet, happily thinking we are going to play and she has successfully gotten me up. When I pick up the water bottle she runs away. I do not think this is adorable. I think it is horrible, evil and malicious. I seethe with quiet, exhausted anger. I go back to bed and try to lie down again.
The rest of the time until I need to get up: I lie in bed, attempting to sleep while evil cat continues to wake me up. I do not know what her plan really is but it involves me not being asleep and I'm not okay with that.
5:59 am: I am awake when the clock turns to 6:00 and I listen to my alarm going off. I blearly think; What is that? When I realize, I shut it off. I don't think I'll be getting up for church.
6:01 am: Cat has stopped being evil. She lies down at the foot of the bed and goes to sleep. Instead of being angry, I fall asleep too.
Much later: I wake up (special thanks to Handsome Hubby who let me sleep for a bit. Feeding himself and the other creatures, not questioning me about why I wasn't getting up.) Cat is lying on the bed next to me purring happily like she's loving this time we spent together. I resist the urge to shove her off the bed. Cruelty to animals is wrong. I genuinely wonder what her plan was. Then I start to think about it while making coffee and write this blog post.

Seriously, what on earth was her plan? I'm a little afraid and I'm also tempted to keep her awake all day so she lets me sleep tonight.